Sunday, May 9, 2010

Thou Shalt Not Study

I've spent the past weeks or two totally consumed by the amount of study I had to do, swiftly followed by crafty procrastination, then that guilty feeling you get for not studying and knowing you're going to keep not studying...

Here's a tiny bit of what's kept be preoccupied. There has been heaps more, but most of it, as most procrastination is, really, was totally boring.

I don't usually listen to music while studying; more often than not (don't lie, its happened to you too) I end up inadvertently typing out song lyrics. 

"Media coverage of the war has often been misleading, because ... the party don't stop til I walk in ... following twenty four hour coverage of the Gulf War ... I was like, baby, baby, baby, Ooohh ... until journalists were able to report live from war zones, and were often quoted saying ... come on rude boy, boy, can you gettit up ... "

I don't think that would have gone down well in an exam. However, I did come across a few bands I hadn;t heard of before, and though Yes Giantess were pretty good. I’m not great at adequately explaining positive and negative attributes of a band, so I’m just gonna say they'e kinda awesome and leave it at that...

I’ve also spent a considerable amount of time youtubing almost every band to be announced for Electric Picnic 2010 (which I cannot WAIT for, despite the fact that I still haven’t actually got a ticket...) Very excited for LCD Soundsystem, Mumford & Sons, Crystal Castles, (even though I’ve seen the twice already) and Hot Chip, in particular. Must stock up on glow sticks.

Another thing that I’ve spent a sizeable (no pun intended) amount of time googling is Heidi Montag and her recent love starved desperate bid for attention surgery. In one day while most of us plebs can only moan about our human bodies she had a boob job, nose job, chin job, several face jobs, lipo, and a back scoop.

... what the hell is a back scoop?? Someone asked her and she actually said, “you know, I wasn’t too sure, but I figured, why not?” That’s a life motto right there.

And she’s not even done – apparently the boobs aren’t big enough? Yes ... yes they are. They are hilariously huge fake boobs. They look like blow up boobs. They’re like something off a cartoon character. The girl is a real life Barbie ... freaky. Apparently the fact that NO ONE seems to think she looks better than before, and that she’s making appearances on websites like epicfailure and, doesn’t bother her. Ties in well with her newly released single, ‘Superficial’.
...too easy.

Yeah, I know I need to get a life and get off facebook, but that’s hard to do when your chained to your laptop procrastinating studying, so I spent far too much time joining every Kate’s Party group I could find. This was a prank; some guy created a fake birthday party invite to a girl named Kate’s house, where he claimed she accidentally left it on ‘open invite’. It spread like swine flu, and at the last check I think there were over thirty thousand people attending. If nothing else, it’s a perfect, ready-made statistical project on how much time people waste on Facebook. (Pot, kettle, I know).

"Hey are you going to Kate's party?" "No, I wasn't invited." *AWKWARD*
"Aww, I can't... I have Kate's party!"
"Mum and Dad, where did you meet?" "In the toilet queue at Kate's Party, son"
"I Sure Hope I Get Laid At Kate's Party!"
"Ted Mosby met your mother at Kate's Party".
"FuckHogwarts, I'm going to Kate's party!!!"
"Hi, I'm Troy McClure and you might remember me from kate's party."
"The Hangover sequel: Kate's Party"
"Kate wore army pants and flip flops... so i wore army pants and flip flops"

Please don’t ask me what I was youtubing when I came across this, but it gives me nightmares. I think the mother must have reproduced with a squid or something. I won’t lie, I probably would weep and call an exorcist if I gave birth to this. If you watch the extended version ... it even barks.

I’ll leave with this, which I initially thought was a belated and disturbing April Fool’s joke. Not so much.

There are so many things wrong here I don’t quite know where to start...?

-By publishing their story, are they not highlighting the fact that they’ve committed the illegal crime of incest?
-Em... its sick?
-Has anyone checked to see if the auld one is mentally disturbed?
-Still sick..
-How in the name of sex is he attracted to that?
-So, so sick
-Is it not like some form of child abuse to put a kid through having the knowledge that his granny and his nephew are his parents???

Keep an eye out, I smell a future Jerry Springer in the making.


  1. Lol isn't it amazing how many things you can find to distract you when you're trying to study!? Youtube and Megavideo were my vices....oh and Gmail and MSN!

    And yeah Heidi is an absolute headcase...I dunno what she's thinking with all that surgery!!

  2. Wikipedia is a dangerous one too, every other word is a link to something else!

  3. "They are hilariously huge fake boobs"

    cudnt agree more! dreadful things

  4. a grandmother and grandson?!! well I'm done with dinner...