Ok, I’m a few months behind with this, but I only just discovered an interview with Robert Pattinson (I cannot call him R-Patz ... I just can’t) where he stated, very clearly ...
“I am allergic to vagina”.
Well .... well. I don’t quite know what to say to that. He was doing a photo shoot with some naked women, and when the interviewer asked him if it was 'enjoyable' (ahem), his response was, “I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vagina”.
He was later asked about fans and all the female attention given to his lovely, sculpted
TOTALLY DRAWN ON abs in the last Twilight film, and said something along the lines of, “The only emotional connection I have with anyone is with my dog. My relationship with my dog, like it’s just ridiculous”.
So, we have established two things from this conversation. Robert Pattinson does not like vaginas, and has an ... ‘unusual’, let’s say, relationship with an animal.
This means that Kristen Stewart must either have a secret penis, or is in fact some sort of large, shaved dog.
He would also need to be careful of all the screaming teenage fan girls who are going to try and cure him of this unfortunate affliction.
Could YOURS be the one that doesn’t make him sneeze???
Unfortunately, if they catch him and thrust themselves upon him he could have a terrible allergic reaction and die. Tragedy.
Beloved son and brother, whose life was tragically cut short by a rogue vagina.R.I.P.”