Friday, June 11, 2010

Waste of perfectly good tellybox space.


Having been out of the country for the past week in ignorant bliss, I returned to find one of my most detested and hated subjects of utter loathing back in action ...

What is it that makes my face contort into wrinkly rage spasms and makes me so irritable that I begin spewing random, incoherent nonsense that sounds like a high speed tape of a rabid chipmunk on E?


Big.
Brother.

Effing Big Brother.


Hours of coverage of a bunch of absolute muppets doing stupid and humiliating things for a chance to be crowned King of the muppets, all convinced this is their chance to show the world the talent and earn the fame they deserve do anything at all to claw their way desperately to the bottom rung of the Z-list ladder where they will then no doubt launch some sort of smelly perfume, have a crappy magazine column where they don’t actually comment about the world around them as much as tell everyone what’s going on in their own lives, and probably attempt (and fail) to launch a pop career.

They will then ironically end up on Celebrity Big Brother some years later, or some other ‘Celebrity’ version of a tv show, which, as everyone knows, is nothing more than a way for crappy Z-listers to desperately cling to their extended fifteen minutes of fame. Case in point – ‘Celebrity Salon’ on TV3, which stars such wonderful, popular, beloved celebs such as some woman who runs a modelling agency, and a nice lady who is a beauty and make-up consultant. Then there’s yer wan who didn’t win the Apprentice, and that ‘model’, Pippa something or other, who can usually be seen in the well respected and widely read Irish Times Irish Independent MetroHerald, often in front of Stephen’s Green promoting something that requires her to be in a bikini. Gosh however did they get such top notch celebs? Like, who doesn’t know that lady who runs that modelling agency? I love her I do, particularly when she ... and she did ... well, there was that ... I’ll, eh, get back to you.

I digress; Big Brother. Shockingly bad. What once started out as a simple social experiment that allowed normal people like me and you to create their own drama is now a circus of fame hungry weirdos that are so ridiculous and dull that numerous degrading and stupid tasks are bestowed upon them in order to create entertainment. It is anything but ‘reality’; none of it is real. Thankfully, it is FINALLY coming to a screeching end, as this already dismal series is the last.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m a lover of car crash TV, it’s great to point at laugh at people, but there’s just something about Big Brother that I despise. I think it’s just the fame hungry aspect of it all, and the fact that I hate hate HATE people who are famous for doing nothing!!! And Big Brother has spawned dozens of these.

It also shoves it’s fat ass in the way of everything else – Friends, Scrubs, and co get pushed aside so we can watch these fools do stupid things. Then we can watch them sleep at two o’clock in the morning ... wow!

Its currently on Channel 4 ... I’ll stick with Glee on 3e.

4 comments:

  1. Urgh I hate it!! Remember those first few years when it was new and shiny and normal people you could relate to were on it! The years of Craig and Brian and Johnny and Kate and Stu and Michelle! Now it's a goddamn freakshow! I don't want to watch Fame Whores or sick and crazy tasks...I want to see normal people dealing with unusual circumstances and gradually gaining weight!

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  2. Ah Brian...what a dote...

    Do they still make them live on basic rations if they fail the weekly task? Nothing like watching a bunch of half-starved, nicotine-craving monsters trying to maintain their dignity :)

    The producers seem to think that in order for it to be entertaining, they need to get really "zany" (interpret as you see fit) people and ply them with booze, but I thought it was more interesting to watch how more conventional (for want of a better word) people coped with the whole living-with-random-strangers thing while constantly in the public eye but cut off from their friends and families and the media. The consistently sinking ratings suggest that a lot of people agree!

    Grrr silly annoying Big Brova clogging up the E4 schedule.

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  3. hate big brother :-(
    at least its not quite so bad these days as when e4 used to be literally taken over with constant coverage ... woo look at them they're sleeping! and then they'd go and block out the sound! who is so unbelievable bored that they watch - not even listen - to people doing nothing?? wow.

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  4. @chicknamedhermia, ahh craig! I loved him. HA I agree about the gradually gaining weight thing, I remember one time a bunch of them started doing laps around that tiny garden to try and keep in shape and then just gave up and had a bag of crisps! I'd put on about a stone in that house!

    @girlwithoutaplan, to be honest I don't know about the rations thing because I just avoid that show like the damn plague, but it wouldn't surprise me with the sheer volume of embarrassing crap they used to make them do for 'entertainment'. I agree with you though, I far preferred the original concept of simply throwing a bunch of randomers together, cut off from the outside world, and seeing how they coped. I mean, the first few series' were pretty entertaining, I don't get why they felt the needto turn it into a freakshow. If I wanted to see that I'd go to the circus!

    @victoria, oh god it used to drive me crazy when they turned the sounds off! And they used to just replace it with birds and stuff, what was that about?! Watching them sleep was utterly pointless, you'd want to be really, REALLY desperate to put up with watching that.

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