Sunday, September 26, 2010

Lovin angels

Bit of a quickie, but am also loving this song. I know its been around for a while but it never gets old.

And this...

And this one!

Sorry about the depressive song choice there ... I've got that "Oh no its Sunday evening, back to the real world tomorrow!" feeling... ;-)

Peace out.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Lets dance around in the sunset in a totally staged way...

I have been listening to this song on repeat for days now.

Every time I hear it I imagine a girl who looks something like this ...

And a guy who looks a bit like this ... *drool*

And I picture them doing lovely things like this ...

And this ...

And a bitta this too ...

Some of this ...

And just being generally lovely in the dappled sunlight ...

Bless. The whole song just makes me think of lovely, pretty, flowery, delicate, floaty things and makes me want to go running around on a beach at sunset in a seriously cheesy way with my boyfriend.


Sunday, September 19, 2010

I do ... now lets hit the pub!

Don’t ask me what I was Googling when I came across this, just look ... and be shocked into speechlessness ...

Behold ...

The Traveller Wedding.

This girl is sixteen, and her parents spent something ridiculous like 100,000 pounds on her dream wedding. Unfortunately, you could spend a million quid and it still wouldn't erase the act that you got married as a child and live in a caravan.

These gawjuss gals are bridesmaids at an Irish traveller wedding. Bleedin beautiful, aren't they? The fact that the little one looks about eight isn't inappropriate at all.

Mother of god ... this one is also sixteen, and apart from the fact that the star on her head makes her look like the world's worst fairy on top of a trashy Christmas tree,  the bridesmaids look like a lava lamp threw up on them and then they got doused in glow paint from a rave.

Oh ... wow ... surely this must be some form of child abuse??

Well ... as long as they're all happy, that's all that matters ... I guess ... ??

Saturday, September 18, 2010

I got love for you, if you were born in the eighties ...

I had an amazing experience the other day ... I got to go on the Freefall!!! For those of you who don’t know what that is (bloody shame on you) it’s the huge vertical slide that those magical places like the Fun Factory and Bam Bam’s had. Despite the fact that it definitely seemed bigger back in the day when I was a mere four feet tall, it was still a major childhood flashback, and it made me think about other things that were very specific to my childhood, a lot of which have been overtaken by new fancy things (jaysus I sound like an auld one).

Enid Blyton
Dear god, for a long period of time her books were literally the only books I would read. I absolutely tore through them, and not just certain ones; all of them. The Secret Seven, the Famous Five, the Adventurous Four ... and then there was the series about the Five Find-Outers, which was one of my absolute favourites, and the ‘Adventure of ...’ series, about two sets of siblings who ended up living together, and the ‘Secret of ...’ series, about the group of siblings that ran away to live on a secret island. Not to mention the ‘Mallory Towers’ and ‘Twins at St Clare’s’ books (tell me I’m not the only one who was dying to go to boarding school ...?!) Following this obsession, the three ‘Circus’ books made me realise me ultimate goal in life was to run away and join a circus. My mother was soo happy ...

Super Ted tablets
This was an odd one, because I never actually watched Super Ted that much, I just remember being given a Super Ted iron tablet every single day and treating it like it was a sweet. Seriously, I wanted these things; I must have been the only kid I know who would have happily eaten a whole tube of these little Ted-shaped tablets.

Magic key shoes
Getting a new pair of shoes as a kid was such a big deal. You had to get your foot measured in that foot measurer contraption (which actually scared me, I was convinced my foot would get stuck), and then there was all this, “now walk to the end of the room for me”, and pressing the tip of the shoe to see where the toe was. And then I got magic shoes from Clarks, that had a key hidden inside them! Amazing ... I used to lie about my shoes being too small so I could get a new pair and another key ... my poor mother.

Ahh Bosco. Subject of many a debate over whether a tiny puppet that invited children to come and play in his box was actually really creepy. I thought he was amazing; I lived for this show, so much so that I made my poor mother record every episode so I could watch him and his magic door and his annoying, shrill voice over, and over, and over, and over (how has my mum not kicked me out of the house?!)

Penny sweets actually costing a penny
None of this two cent per sweet nonsense. And then there was the dip daps, the fizzy cola lollies, Frostie sweets, TK lolly pops, Wham! bars, Fizzy Dan bars, refresher bars, drumstick lolly pops, blackjacks and fruit salads, and Loveheart sweets. Each of which was likely twenty pence or less, I might add. Uh-may-zing.

Art Attack!
I was big into making things and being all artistic as a kid, and this show was like my televised Bible. I had a go at just about everything, and while some things weren’t half bad, if I do say so myself, other creations were a massive ball of paint, paper, and ‘PVA glue’. Once again ... my poor, poor mother.

Getting a prize in your cereal!
Why did they get rid of this?! Me and a friend of mine were talking about it a while back, and her little sister thought it was totally ludicrous to get a toy in a box of cereal. Dudes, it made me feel very old. But seriously, it was such a novelty, I absolutely loved getting those crappy little plastic pieces of junk. My mother hated them; understandably so, as there would inevitably be piles of cheap, broken toys floating around the house for her to stand on/trip over.

Get Set...!
Following on from ‘Art Attack’, ‘Get Set ...!’ was a creative company that made all sorts of do it yourself kits; the chocolate making one was my absolute favourite. I also had the stained glass set, the potter making set, the candle one, the jewellery one, the mosaic one, and the soap one. I went through an almighty phase of home making all my own presents, and presented many a weary family member with some atrocious piece of jewellery, or mouldy soap, or wonky candle. I totally thought I was the business. Ah bless them.
Oh jesus. I don’t think I even knew how to properly play with pogs, I just collected them. Cos they were awesome. As were stickers.

Dolls ...
That were interesting and different, and didn’t have names like ‘Kloe’ and ‘Bryanna’, and weren’t obsessed with fashion, despite being for kids under ten. Like Sky Dancers; fairy dolls that did actually whizz up into the air for a few seconds when you launched them off their launch pad. I drover my poor mother demented flinging these things all around the place. Then there were those dolls that you kind of squish up into the shape of a cupcake! And if I recall correctly, each one had a different smell ... and of course, back in the day Polly Pocket lived in a simple little box/thing, that actually fitted in your pocket, and did not have giant swimming pools and several storey houses. 

Here are a few others that might spark a happy memory ... spirograph, etch-a-sketch, magnadoodle, Tamagotchi, Furby, trolls, Play-Doh ... I could go on, I really could. Feel totally free to add your own, I’m sure I’ve forgotten a hundred things.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

We all play synth!

Hopefully this doesn't offend any of ye, buuut ...

Toooo funny. Love it.

Apologies also for the cobwebs floating around, I've had an ridiculously busy week so far ... can't wait for the weekend!! :-)

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Once you pop, you just can't stop!

I've seen this video before, and I'm sure many of you have too, but I still find it hilarious. I think I laugh more at Twilight that with it.

There is also quite a good Harry Potter one that I hadn't seen before...

I'm so easily amused :-)
While we're on Twilight parodies ... here's some more!

This one is a bit extreme, but I LOL'd...

Then I found this one, which I initially thought was just an extremely well made spoof ... but is actually a real movie! I looked it up and it got aaawful reviews, which, seeing as its from the makers of 'Epic Movie', I could well believe (not to mention the fact that my friend said its atrociously bad), but the trailer is pretty good for a two minute laugh.

Sorry about all the slagging of Twilight, I'm not sure where that came from! But once I saw one YouTube video, I just ended up watching about twenty more ... YouTube has that pringles effect on people some times!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

No no honey, that five thousand euro on the credit card bill was spent on ... em, presents ... for you??

So now Wayne Rooney was cheating on the missus! While she was up the duff and all ... can no one keep it in their goddam pants any more?
To date, as of late, the following horny feckers dudes have cheated on their significant others ...

Tiger Woods
Jesse James
Ashley Cole
Peter Crouch
John Terry
David Beckham
Frank Lampard
Mark Owen
Ronan Keating
Vernon Kay (although that was just texting, not physical cheating..)
And now Wayne Rooney. Not to mention the original shocker - Jude Law.

One of the things I just don't understand is why on earth they think hiring a prostitute is a good idea ... I mean come on, clearly she's going to sell the story?! A big magazine will pay her far more for a scoop like that than your night of pleasure! Half of them probably hire themselves out just so they can sell the story!

Tiger Woods is the epitome of this ... over a hundred affairs?! I mean, obviously at least ONE of them was going to come forward ... I don't know how the hell he thought he'd get away with all that.

An awful lot of these muppets are footballers. I think that when you earn such a ridiculous amount of money at such a young age, and are treated basically like a god to a lot of people, it can only lead to bad things. I know some people who reckon its because none of them are allowed drink for months on end, so ... eh, certain 'frustrations' shall we say, all build up. But like ... can you not get that at home? From your loved one? And there are far more people in the world who don't drink at all than do ... are they all off riding everyone who crosses their path? Ehh no. Sort it out, lads.

And the saddest thing is that half of the girls have taken them back again. Abby Clancy took back Peter Crouch, and bizzarely enough has even decided that they should have a feckin baby together and this will make everything ok...! Ehh ... you wanna explain that logic to me?!

I don't want to come across as hypocritical or anything; I'm sure plenty of women cheat too. Its just that a lot of the recent allegations and scandals have been about guys.

All I can say is ... thank the LORD I'm not one of those 'wags'. They must all be in some serious paranoia now wondering if their footballer is the next one to come out as a cheater. Ah well ... at least they'll get a hefty bitch of a divorce settlement.

Monday, September 6, 2010

It's all your fault! *SMACK!*

The X Factor never ceases to provide me with endless entertainment. Check out this particular audition!

Uh - may - ZING!!! This is literally one of the funniest auditions I've seen in a long time. How in this world those two thought they had any kind of talent whatsoever is utterly beyond me. And telling the audience to shut up?! Yeah, smart move. The moment they started giggling like twelve year olds I knew it was over.

"Why have you decided to sing today?"
"Emm, well like, I dunno? Just because, like, well I dunno really you know? Because like - ohmygod would everyone stop laughing at me! - because like we randomly sing with each other, so ... you know?!"

Clearly though the absolute best part is when yer wan punches the other wan! And the proceeds to tell us backstage that she was the one who messed it all up ... by asking Natalie Imbruglia who she was! You could not make this stuff up. Comedic genius.

But as I was laughing myself silly, my friend frowned and pointed out that they deserve sympathy as there was clearly something ... emm ... 'not quite right' about them, which, to be totally honest, made me laugh even more because I'm fairly certain they are quite mentally stable, and are in fact just a pair of completely deluded muppets.

I can't watch it anymore now without wanting to hide behind my hands. Car crash TV at its absolute finest!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something ... totally crap!

"So Sally, what would be your idea of a nightmare wedding?"

“Oh god, dressing up. I hate fancy dress, it would be awful.”

"Well, you're going to hate this Sally ... Katie’s wedding is fancy dress! Whaddya know. Absolute shocker."

This is typical of the TV show Four Weddings, which is similar in format to Come Dine With Me. They pit four women against each other to see who can out bitch the rest to take the crown of ultimate scabby bitch winner of a dream honeymoon.

The women all meet up at the start of the show and tell each other what their weddings will be like ... cue the bitching already as they then proceed to talk to the camera afterwards and slag the others off behind their backs.

They then all attend each other’s weddings and rate them based on food, venue, dress, and overall experience. This is where it gets seriously catty, as they all partake in a ridiculous amount of nitpicking.

“Emm ... I thought the flowers on the table looked a bit droopy, so I’m only going to give her two out of ten for the venue.”

“The butter was a bit hard, so I couldn’t spread it properly on the bread. Awful, just awful.”

“The colour of the curtains in the reception room didn’t match the colour of the napkins ... like, what was she thinking???”

Or there’s the lazy style of nitpicking, where you can tell one of them actually liked something, but she wants to score it badly for her own benefit, yet can’t even come up with a reason for knocking off a few million points:

 “Her dress was gorgeous, it had all these lovely hand sewn beads on it, and I thought it suited her perfectly, but ... it just wasn’t ... well, you know. So I can only give it like a three out of ten, really.”

“I thought their first dance was really sweet, you could tell how in love they were ... but they were grinding a bit, I mean there were kids around.”

“The apple crumble was lovely, the pastry was realy nice and there was a good flavour off the apples ... but the cream tasted funny, so I could only eat half of it.”

“I think the fact that it’s snowing is lovely, it makes it a gorgeous ‘white wedding’, and the little church looks lovely, she’s so lucky!”
... *then later that evening* ...
“The snow really got in the way, I think she should have thought about the weather she’d be having. It’s too cold, so I’ll have to take away several points for that.”

"There was good food, good music, good company, and great dancing ... but there was just something missing. Pity."

And does no one else find it just amazing that out of alllll these weddings in allll these lovely four star hotels, the food always seems to be a bit ‘meh...’, or ‘dry’, or ‘tasteless’, or just ‘utter crap’?

Basically, the brides find as many things wrong with each other’s weddings as humanly possible so they can justify the ridiculously low scores they give each other in the hopes of winning.

Bitchiness at its best. I have no idea why on earth anyone would want their wedding all over tv and being judged and scored by other people. It really is a god awful programme.

I love it.