Thursday, September 2, 2010

Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something ... totally crap!

"So Sally, what would be your idea of a nightmare wedding?"

“Oh god, dressing up. I hate fancy dress, it would be awful.”

"Well, you're going to hate this Sally ... Katie’s wedding is fancy dress! Whaddya know. Absolute shocker."

This is typical of the TV show Four Weddings, which is similar in format to Come Dine With Me. They pit four women against each other to see who can out bitch the rest to take the crown of ultimate scabby bitch winner of a dream honeymoon.

The women all meet up at the start of the show and tell each other what their weddings will be like ... cue the bitching already as they then proceed to talk to the camera afterwards and slag the others off behind their backs.

They then all attend each other’s weddings and rate them based on food, venue, dress, and overall experience. This is where it gets seriously catty, as they all partake in a ridiculous amount of nitpicking.

“Emm ... I thought the flowers on the table looked a bit droopy, so I’m only going to give her two out of ten for the venue.”

“The butter was a bit hard, so I couldn’t spread it properly on the bread. Awful, just awful.”

“The colour of the curtains in the reception room didn’t match the colour of the napkins ... like, what was she thinking???”

Or there’s the lazy style of nitpicking, where you can tell one of them actually liked something, but she wants to score it badly for her own benefit, yet can’t even come up with a reason for knocking off a few million points:

 “Her dress was gorgeous, it had all these lovely hand sewn beads on it, and I thought it suited her perfectly, but ... it just wasn’t ... well, you know. So I can only give it like a three out of ten, really.”

“I thought their first dance was really sweet, you could tell how in love they were ... but they were grinding a bit, I mean there were kids around.”

“The apple crumble was lovely, the pastry was realy nice and there was a good flavour off the apples ... but the cream tasted funny, so I could only eat half of it.”

“I think the fact that it’s snowing is lovely, it makes it a gorgeous ‘white wedding’, and the little church looks lovely, she’s so lucky!”
... *then later that evening* ...
“The snow really got in the way, I think she should have thought about the weather she’d be having. It’s too cold, so I’ll have to take away several points for that.”

"There was good food, good music, good company, and great dancing ... but there was just something missing. Pity."

And does no one else find it just amazing that out of alllll these weddings in allll these lovely four star hotels, the food always seems to be a bit ‘meh...’, or ‘dry’, or ‘tasteless’, or just ‘utter crap’?

Basically, the brides find as many things wrong with each other’s weddings as humanly possible so they can justify the ridiculously low scores they give each other in the hopes of winning.

Bitchiness at its best. I have no idea why on earth anyone would want their wedding all over tv and being judged and scored by other people. It really is a god awful programme.

I love it.


  1. love love LOVE that show! The amount of bitchiness is crazy, they all try and take each other down so they'll win. I'd hate to be on it! Did you see the one with Rosie (as in Rosie and jim?!) she was an absolute cow! Ripped the other three weddings to shreds and won!

  2. Oh yeah, I know the one with Rosie, she was an awful person. Have you seen the US version? Far more glamorous!

  3. As far as reality tv goes, Four Weddings is one of few shows I tolerate ... and somewhat enjoy ... (don't tell anyone)

  4. Secret's safe with me, Liz ;-)