Sunday, January 30, 2011

Someone buy me a new wardrobe...

I neeeeeed to be banned from Asos. Or at least get it password blocked and give the password to my mother.

Here is what I have been lusting after lately...

Absolutely love the colour. Perfect for one of those 'hop from the taxi to the door of the club' nights; definitely not substantial enough for a whole night outside these days!

Pretty little shift dress. Unfortunately its about to snow again in dublin; probably not worth the fifty two euro ... yet ;-)

I absolutely adore these shorts; how cute is the rope belt?!

They are not tacky. They are fabulous.

 Oooh I really love this cardi. Perfect with a pair of skinnies and my new boots :-)

Very very pretty. Why are all the things I want so not weather appropriate right now?!

 It looks so soft and pretty ... I love the colour. Want.

Siiigh, most things are not only unnecessary, but just silly to buy when its minus a million degrees out. Except that lovely big cardigan ... I really think I will invest in that one, I really like it a lot. Plus its currently free delivery on Asos ... sure it'd just be plain rude not to.. ;-)

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Film Review: The Black Swan

I feel I am sufficiently recovered enough to write a review of Black Swan. Let me begin with ...


I've tried to keep the spoilers to a bare minimum, but just in case you want to know absolutely nothing, be warned...

*Potential Spoiler Alert*

Ballerina Nina Sayers (Natalie Portman) has her dreams come true when the director of the New York City  Ballet Company, Thomas Leroy (Vincent Cassel) casts her as the lead in their production of Swan Lake. Her only obstacle is herself, as the lead role requires portraying not only the innocent, virginal White Swan - a role Nina excells at - but also her alter ego, the sensual and seductive Black Swan - it is here that Nina falters, as her constant strive for utter perfection prevents her from "loosing herself" to the darkness of the Black Swan.

Nina trains and practices ferociously, but struggles to convey what Leroy is looking for in the Black Swan, and finds herself becoming increasingly paranoid that another ballerina, Lily (Mila Kunis) is trying to steal the role from her. Thus begins Nina's descent into madness.

If you're expecting a pretty film that will have you dancing out of the cinema wishing your mother dragged you to ballet lessons as a child, then this is not for you. Nina's struggles with perfection lead her down the path of paranoia and self doubt, and she begins to experience powerful hallucinations as the lines between reality and her warped imagination quickly blur. She self harms without realising, and on several occasions imagines her injuries to be far more serious than they actually are - cue a particularly squeamish scene involving torn skin around her fingernails. I won't spoil anything, but be warned; if you are not a fan of gore, there are a few occassions that you may want to hide behind your bucket of popcorn. Similarly, if you're in any way prudish, the sexual aspects might startle you - I'm thinking in particular about the lesbian scene between Nina and Lily, which was not shied away from.

Nina's twisted relationship with her overbearing mother is also a serious presence, and has certainly shaped the way Nina behaves. Barbara Hershey plays a failed ballerina, living her lost dreams through Nina. Her domineering presence is done very subtly; she seems to want only the best for Nina - wouldn't any mother? But we see her do little ordinary things - such as dressing Nina, winding up her music box, feeding her, and bathing her - that have certainly left Nina in a child like state. In fact, Nina's bedroom is a six year old's delight, filled with all thinks pink and flowery, and adorned with endless amounts of teddy bears. Her mother's suffocation lead Nina to eventually rebel, and in a particularly violent scene, she breaks away from her mother.

The closing scenes are some of the best, as Nina finally loses herself to the Black Swan by doing something very dark, and the depth of her hallucinations and madness is revealed. Its not a happy ending - there is no particular lesson to be learned, but it is almost inevitable.

Black Swan will certainly stay with you long after you've left the cinema. The visual effects are considered superb, but I found the sounds effects to be the most disturbing aspect. It has picked up a good deal of criticism from ballet companies, angered by the negative portrayal of something so beautiful, but the main concentration of the film is about Nina and her madness; she simply happens to be a ballerina. It could be about any other competitive sport or activity. I liked the fact that it was about ballet; events and situations so sad and desperate were juxtaposed nicely by fluttering, floating ballerinas.

I highly recommend seeing Black Swan, and I really hope Natalie Portman wins her Oscar - thoroughly deserved. However, I'm never putting my kids in ballet classes ...

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Do you understand the meaning of the word 'Masquerade'?

October of last year, I know, but still ... a picture says a thousand words ...

Ohh Tyra. You're such an inspiration. You're so fashion forward. You're always trying such wonderful new trends. You're raising the bar for fashionistas everywhere. Fabulous. Amazing. Where can I get one???

Oh that's right. Just rip up an old pair of fishnets and wrap it around your head.

Wouldn't I look supercool sashaying up Grafton Street in that? Like the Rubberbandits, but for Vogue. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Roll up, roll up, its the Red Carpet!

Alright, I know I'm jumping on the Globes Fashion bandwagon here (and no one can out do Elle when it comes to Frock Candy) but I spent far too much of my time today gazing starry eyed at all the lovely dresses, and it would just be a waste if I didn't get a post out of it.

In no particular order...

I can't decide if I like this or not ... on one hand, its a gorgeous colour, but on the other hand ... it looks like wrapping paper that should have, 'Congratulations, its a girl!' on it...

That looks like a project I did in third class, you know when you weave a paper basket? Except I must have spilt glitter glue all over it.

It's ill fitting, but I really love the colour.

Emma Roberts breaks the trend and opts for a short dress, and despite my inexplicable dislike of her, she does look gorgeous. Love the shoes.

Ok, I'm all for girls who rock the pale look, but blending in with your own dress is a step too far. Bitta make up wouldn't go amiss either, Kaley Curaco.

Ah, Kim Kardashian, you have my paper mache project. That said ... I do actually quite like it! Curvalicious.

Sooo on the fence with this ... my first instinct was OH NO, DISCO BALL!!! ...but the more I look at it, the more it grows on me...

Emma Stone absolutely schools everyone in a perfect demonstration of less is more. Stunning.Especially love the clutch.

"Hello, Its-Never-Too-Late Bridal Store? Yes, I'd like to order a dress please..."

Achh, Heidi Klum, why? Did one of your adorable rugrats eat too much ice cream and throw up on you?

I don't even have anything scathing to say about this ... its just not remotely flattering.

I actually really like this. Keeping it simple. Plus she's working with a bump!

It looks like those ready made rolls of grass that you just pat down, and hey presto! You have a garden.

No. No, no no. No.

Yes! Yes, yes yes. Yes. Baaabe.

 What... what... I mean, why would you...?

Ahh bless. He's too ickle to know you don't wear runners to a red carpet event!

Speaking of bad shoes ... Helena, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??????

Other highlights included Ricky Gervais ripping Robert Downey Junior to shreds, and then consequently disappearing for over half an hour (anyone else notcie that...? I think Robert DJ set his people on Ricky... )

Sunday, January 16, 2011

"I'm, like, a writer now! With real word, and stuff!"

So its true - anyone can put pen to paper. Jersey Shore's resident ditz, Snooki, has written a book (I say 'written'... I clearly mean someone far more intelligent deciphered her babbling, removed seventy percent of the word 'like', and re-wrote it in words that normal people understand). Snooki herself said that her "helper" wrote "the good paragraphs and, like, the good sentences".

But this isn't an autobiography. Its actually a novel, called A Shore Thing. Snooki clearly pulled out all the stops with the originality and inventiveness, as the main characters are two Italian-American cousins called Gia and Bella, who spend their summer cruising the Jersey Shore looking for boys. One is a short, fun loving party girl, and the other is an outgoing and occasionally aggressive man-eater.

Well ... life does imitate art.

And as a special treat for you all, here is a small excerpt ...

"Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky".

Oh. Wow. Award winning stuff right there. JK Rowling eat your heart out. And what else would you expect? Sure the girl has read two whole books in her entire life, obviously she's well versed in literary skills.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Here is a post ...

... dedicated entirely to the lovely Aisling Keenan of Think What You Like, who is doing a fabulous freebie competition! All you have to do to enter and be in with a shot at winning some loverly goodies is either become a fan of her blog page on Facebook, follow her on Twitter, or if you're a step ahead and have already done such things, do what I'm doing and give her a mention on your own blog.

Prizes are superb. Props to Aisling. Who is also gorgeous. And smart. And just the coolest person ever. Ahemmm... ;-)

Check it out here ...

Monday, January 10, 2011

Do I need to apply to become blonde?

I read an article in a magazine recently about how Jordan had dyed her hair blonde again. The bones of the piece was pure speculation as to why she had done this, having not been blonde for a good few years.

Reasons include:

- Peter Andre has recently been linked with several blondes; could it be an attempt to win him back?
- She jokingly said yonkers ago that she'd dye her hair blonde again if she ever became pregnant.
- She is trying to reinvent herself in an attempt to move on from Peter Andre (slightly contradictory)
- She wants to be 'Jordan' again, after being Katie Price for so long.
- Having blonde hair reminds her of her younger days when she was out partying and having fun all night; could she be yearning for the past?

Seriously, the article went on and on for an entire page speculating all these reasons as to why she might have bleached her locks.

I am hardly her biggest fan, but honestly, did anyone ever stop to think that maybe - just maybe - she just ... I dunno, felt like it ... ??

They've also started taking bets on whether Posh and Becks' new kid will be more stylish than current tot queen Suri Cruise; the child is not even born yet. You don't even know if its a fucking girl.

Trash magazines just get more and more ridiculous every day. Why am I still reading them?!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Film Review: The Way Back

My cinema visits have been less than usual as of late, mostly because there's very little out that I want to see. I'd rather watch paint dry than see Trom, and Love and Other Drugs looks just as useless. I've seen Harry Potter more times than is acceptable for a normal twenty two year old girl, so I recently went to see The Way Back instead.

 Despite the fact that it begins by telling how many people live (bit of a spoiler...), its still a brilliant film, and I really recommend it. Directed by Peter Weir, it is based on the book The Long Walk, a memoir detailing how Slavomir Rawicz and his companions escaped a Siberian Gulag in the Second World War in the 1940s. Although his story has been widely questioned regarding its plausibility in recent years, it is still a harrowing tale that sucks you right in.

A military officer named Janusz (Jim Sturgess) is hauled up for questioning, on the grounds that he is a spy. He denies this and refuses to give a false confession, so his wife is tortured into confessing, and Janusz is sent to a Gulag, which is a hard labour camp. He is given twenty years; most prisoners barely survive a few years. The prisoners are severely malnourished, and Weir doesn't shy away from showing the harsh environment in which they live; desperately scrambling for bit of dirty food dropped on the ground, exchanging anything of value for an hard lump of stale bread.

Janusz quickly decides this is not where he will die, and gathers a small group of prisoners who are willing to risk escaping. This is where we find Colin Farrell, otherwise known as Valka, a reckless Russian common thief quite willing to kill to survive; his only reason for escape is that he owes "big debt" to several other common criminals within the gulag. Controversially within the group of mostly Polish escapees, Valka has a large tattoo of Stalin emblazoned across his chest. Also included is Ed Harris as a mysterious American POW, along with an artist, a priest, and a young teenage boy with night blindness. Their plan is to walk thousands of miles from Siberia to India.

Upon actually managing to escape, the runaways now have to survive an even harsher terrain; the blizzardous Siberian landscape, followed by miles and miles of forest and fields, followed again by even more miles of nothing but baking hot, sandy desert. They resort to chewing on tree bark for any trace of nutrition, and at one point fight off a pack of wolves with nothing but sticks and rocks to rip into its raw kill with their bare hands. There's none of this 'rubbing a bit of dirt' on them to make them look rough, either; you see all of their painful cuts and wounds up close. There's a moment of desperation when Valka jokingly suggests to Janusz that it is lucky there are so many of them because at least there will be food when people start dying; you can tell he's not really joking at all, and Janusz doesn't exactly vehemently correct him either. Somewhere along the lines they find a lost girl (Saoirse Ronan) on the run from a child labour farm, and after debating over whether they can feed her, she continues to follow them and they eventually accept her.

There is nothing particularly spectacular about Janusz; he is not a 'hero', and seems to have unwillingly fallen into the position of 'leader', if there is one. Colin Farrell is a self centered criminal, and Ed Harris keeps himself to himself. The prisoners have little impact on one another, if only stopping a moment to bury the dead. They escaped not as firm friends, but merely because they have individual reasons for wanting to get out. The lack of loving comradery makes it an even more realistic tale; this is not a happy situation in which they all bond and become life long pals. It is simply a story of pure survival, and the harshness of reality, and some terrific acting - particularly Colin Farrell - makes this a thought provoking film that, whether really true or not, will stay with you nonetheless. There's something really spine tingling about seeing a birds eye view of a group of tiny black dots crawling along at an aching pace through an endless view of nothing but sand. Its not for everyone, and does tick on a little, but I can't recommend it enough.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

I hereby solemnly resolve to...

A few new years resolutions that certain celebrities should probably take up...

Lindsey Lohan:
Learn to sleep when it is dark, and wake up during daylight hours, like a normal person. I also aim to only spend half the amount of time in rehab this year as I did last year ... baby steps.

Kristen Stewart:
Learn the ancient and most noble arts of smiling, and of cleanliness.

Stop wearing half pieces of clothing picked out of an eighties reject bin by a blind person.

Posh Spice:
Eat something.

Angelina Jolie:
Only adopt five more kids this year - love does eventually run out.

Mel Gibson:
Spend less time on the phone...

Lady Gaga:
Wear a nice trouser suit.

The entire cast of Jersey Shore:
Try to learn the difference between fake tan and orange war paint.

Kanye West:
Try to ... no wait, I'm fucking Kanye West. I'm already perfect.

And I'm well aware that these gorgeous laydeez are not celebrities, but I saw the photo and just thought that they could use a resolution aswell...

"We resolve to wear clothing that hasn't been shredder by a lawnmower and sprayed by a paint machine..."